


Have you thought of calling, darling?

by Just_Juliette



Series: Coming back to life [1]
Category: Formula 1 RPF
Genre: Angst, Hopeful Ending, M/M, Post-Break Up, Realization
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-05
Updated: 2020-10-05
Packaged: 2021-03-07 23:33:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 888
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26842198
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Just_Juliette/pseuds/Just_Juliette
Summary: Lewis ponders about his relationship with Sebastian.Based in "Do I wanna Know?" lyrics by Artic Monkeys
Relationships: Lewis Hamilton/Sebastian Vettel
Series: Coming back to life [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1964005
Comments: 3
Kudos: 22





	Have you thought of calling, darling?

**Author's Note:**

> Hi there,  
> this is some melacholic stuff that I'm not very used to write but in life not everything is perfect, not everyone is happy and sometimes I want to digg into my soul while listening sad punk music and... this is the result.  
> Hope you enjoy.

The room was tidy, silent, with the lights off and the door closed; as if no one were there.

Lewis wouldn't move, he just lay on his bed, with one arm over his head covering his eyes, as if the darkness of the environment wasn't enough. As if the gloom in his heart was even deeper.

His body wasn’t moving, but his mind was... it was going a hundred miles per hour making its way through everything that crossed his memory. But the journey always ended in the same place.

14th May. Terrace. Sebastian.

He always ended up going back to the day in which everything went wrong, and his world fell to pieces. His world had no way of sustaining itself without its bases and foundations... Foundations whose name and surname were no longer part of his life.

Sebastian has been the only constant in his life, one way or another, he always ended up coming back to him. No matter how bad it was, no matter how much others crossed his path and no matter how much he tried to forget those beautiful blue eyes and that contagious smile. No Nicole, no Angela... Not even Nico could ever take his place.

But he realized too late, that he should have done things differently. He should have told Sebastian that he was nothing, without him by his side. That neither the WC leadership, nor the fame, nor any of his duties would stop him from making him happy every day until he died.

He should have asked him to stay.

_"If that makes you happy, leave. I hope you will call me from time to time"_

But he never heard from Sebastian again. And that uncertainty made him unable to stop thinking, dreaming and even almost getting obsessed with him.

He wanted to know how he was doing, if he missed him or if he had forgotten about him completely and someone else was part of his life. A person who would give him everything he lacked.

He hoped so... that’s what he’d normally say.

_But deep inside he hoped not._

He was terrified by the simple conjecture that Sebastian no longer cared about his existence, to be just another colleague or simply an old acquaintance.

_That he no longer needed him when now, it was Lewis who needed him more than ever._

Of course he would not take the initiative. He was too afraid, besides... If the other one wanted to talk, he would have called.

There was also the possibility that Sebastian was busy, he couldn't be so selfish as to believe that the other guy would give up his responsibilities and worry about him.

When what he received from him was very little. Not even close to be enough.

Because being busy was the excuse Lewis used. Of course, not as an excuse, because he really had his schedule filled with commitments here and there, thinking that in the future everyone would be grateful to him, and that Sebastian would understand that he just couldn’t work on their relationship.

_“Maybe later, in the future. We have plenty of time ahead”_

Well, maybe if he hadn’t have left it for “tomorrow”….

- _A tomorrow that never came-_

…he wouldn't be like that now.

Alone, in the dark, waiting for a call that was unlikely to happen.

His anguish would lessen, and it would leave room for his peace of mind.

He also thought about what to say when that phone rang. If it ever did, before his faith was completely consumed.

Before his desire to continue living was completely consumed.

It was going to be his only shot, so he would try to hide his desesperation as much as possible.

He didn’t want to sound pittyful. Sebastian hated that.

He would just say what he didn't say at the right time, and hope the other man would still give him a chance to be heard.

It would be the best proposal in the world, it had to be. No apologizing, no crying and no excuses that are just words with little meaning.

No.

He would tell him that if he agrees to come back, he will never lack a gesture of love again. From the good morning kiss till the good night kiss.

He would no longer wake up at five in the morning to train before dawn, and miss breakfast.

He would no longer complain that dinner was cold. It won’t be necessary. He will be the one who cooks, and they will spend all the evenings together.

He would offer him a rose in a glass of water every day, which would perfume his office.

They would spend more time on their music. He would buy a new guitar and would try very patiently to learn instead of breaking the instrument into pieces.

He will never cry again, or make him cry.

He will never hide things from him again.

And finally, and most importantly... that together they would appreciate those little things that life had to offer them, instead of ignoring them and filling that void with things that only fill the ambition, and not the soul.

The screen lit up and the phone began to vibrate.

Lewis opened his eyes and took it with his heart pounding hard on his chest.

─Hello…?


End file.
